Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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