You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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