Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
