Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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