I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My hand turned me down
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
