the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
