No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Couch. On fire.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
