Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
