quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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