She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
