I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
