We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
