Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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