i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
