I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
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