Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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