I think i peed on brittanys purse
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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