Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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