I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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