We're facebook friends in real life
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
