Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
