That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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