My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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