i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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