Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
