in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
