Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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