i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
