The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
