Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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