What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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