You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
