Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
