And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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