I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
