dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
