and she was petting her beer can
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
