Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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