like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
