I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
