The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
