Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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