My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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