is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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