If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
