Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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