smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
