talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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