Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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