Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
