She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
