The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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