Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
